Seeking Divorce? Ask Yourself these 10 Questions
Before seeking divorce ask yourself these 10 questions. Getting married to someone is a big decision. You intend to spend your entire life and share all your joys and sorrows with that person. That person becomes an integral part of your life and their presence dictates the way you lead your life. Divorces, unfortunately, have become very common these days. Earlier, even when people were not happy with their marriage, they would stick to their marriage fearing what the society would say when they end their relationship. [ Read: 5 Points to Keep in Mind When Dating a Divorcee ]
Here are 10 questions you need to ask yourself before seeking divorce:
- Have I tried to make it work?
If you are seeking divorce, the first question you need to ask yourself is whether you have tried you best to make your marriage work. If you have invested many years in your marriage, the least you can do when it is going through a troubled phase is put some effort in resolving the issues and set the things right. A lot of people give up on their marriage without trying to solve their problems and make their relationship work. [ Read: Are You Having an Affair with a Married Man ]
- Is there some hope left?
Do you see any sign of things getting back to normal? If yes, then you should not give up as yet and work on it a little more before seeking divorce. You must not ignore the faintest sign that suggest some hope for your marriage. If you ignore it, you will regret the fact that you did not try hard enough.
- What is the problem?
Before you set out to make things right, you must figure out what the problem really is. It would be foolish to assume there is no problem. There cannot be any smoke without fire. There must have been something that has triggered the thought of seeking divorce. You should be clear about the reason that prompted you to take this step. [ Read: 5 Modern Movie Couples We Can All Learn From ]
- Whose mistake is it anyway?
After you realize what the problem is, you need to find out as to who caused the problem. The problem could be attributed to either of you or the both of you. If you really want to solve the problem, you need to own up your mistake. If it is your partner, make them realize their mistake. Whoever mistake it is should own it up.
- Do I still love them?
You want a divorce but are you sure that you do not have any feelings left for them? If you have nothing but detest for your partner, then you can go ahead but it would be difficult for you to go through the process if you still love them. It is difficult to stop loving a person whom you got married to all of a sudden. [ Read: Affairs in a Marriage and the Big Role of Egos in it ]
- How will the kids react?
When a married couple part ways, the kids get affected the most by the separation. You have to think about the kids before you decide to seek a divorce. Kids are sensitive by nature and they are not equipped to deal with something as heart-breaking as a divorce. If you are firm on getting a divorce, you must make sure that your kids do not affected by it.
- How am I going to manage the finance?
After two individuals get married, they live under the same roof and start managing their finances together. After the divorce, you will have to decide about dividing the financial assets between the two of you. You will also have to think about the way you will handle your expenses in the future. Women can seek alimony from their husbands when they file for a divorce. [ Read: Affairs in a Marriage and the Big Role of Egos in it ]
- How do I make it look less ugly?
A divorce is always filled with bitterness and can never turn out to be a pleasant experience for either of the two parties. The least you can do is try and make the process as smooth as possible without letting any kind of unpleasantness seep in. You can b civil in the way you conduct ourselves and should request your partner to go about it peacefully without throwing accusations at each other.
- How do I deal with the society?
Though times have changes, we have a long way to go before we can claim to live in a society which is progressive. People still talk and gossip when there is a divorce involved. In such situations, one should lend their support to the estranged couple but what people do is they trivialize the issue and make it a part of their dining table conversations. You must prepare yourself mentally to deal with the society before you take the plunge. [ Read: If You Can’t Stop Doing These 10 Things, You’re Not Ready To Get Married ]
- What next
Have you thought as to how is your life going to be after the divorce? You will not be tied to a marriage and you will have to figure out a hundred things to go about. You could choose to be single or if you find someone again, you could think of getting married again. You must figure out whether you are ready for the post-divorce phase or not.
If you are not happy with your marriage, you should not refrain from getting a divorce. However, you must not jump into it without any thought and should ponder over your decision for a while. Important decisions should not be taken without any thought. Think about it for a while discuss the matter with your friends and family. Be open to all kinds of suggestions and advice and at the end, do what you heart tells you to do.