I Wasn’t Treating My Husband Fairly, It Wasn’t Fair
We were entertaining our guests when I snapped at my husband for leaving the glasses on the table without any coasters. I remember my stern words so clearly. “I have told you a zillion to keep coasters. It is not you who has to clean the glass after that, you know!” In return to such a comment from me, I got a blank stare from my husband and an awkward look from the outsiders. But in a few minutes my friend shrugged off the awkwardness and we continued chatting away, while my husband and I made it a point not to catch each other’s eye. That night we slept with our backs facing each other. Next morning, when I woke up I found his gym shoes lying in the middle of the room which just struck the hammer on the hot iron. I started ranting about how he is hopeless and compared him to a useless object in the house! That’s when I got that one shot of look from him and cold statement that said, “Stop! You are crossing the line. Goodbye!” and he walked out of the door without finishing his breakfast. [ Read: She Wrote a Letter to Her Ex-Husband’s New Girlfriend ]
The half-eaten toast on the table got me to reflect on my actions. I couldn’t believe I actually called the man I love “useless!” I was aghast at myself! I mean, this isn’t MY home, it is our home! As these thought came to me, I realised how wrong I was to scream at him in front of our guests last night! Do I not respect my husband? Or have I forgotten how to treat the main man in my life? Didn’t I realise that I was portraying to the outsiders how my husband doesn’t wear the pants in this house? Oh my God! I am being such a nasty snob to my beloved husband! Gradually, it dawned upon me that I have been treating him so badly every step of the way! In fact, I don’t remember the last time I gave him a high five for a job well done, or a pat on his back for his efficiency or applauded his accomplishments! [ Read: An Open Letter To My Future Husband ]
I started wondering why I have become so dominating. My husband is a capable human being; in fact he is smarter than me. Sure, I have a way to work around the house, but that does not mean that he does not have the ability to work! Yes, I am more capable of running the house, but that is only because he is there to support me. So, if he gets the wrong kind of bread while heading home from work one day, I can just make do with it; it is not necessary for me to throw a fit about a different kind of bread on my table! Of course, I am agitated about the fact that he disregards my need for cleanliness around the house; or does not observe the kind of bread I offer him every day; or that coasters are a must when guests are around. However, if I have married a man, I need to realise that the marriage needs adjustment. [ Read: Woman Writes an Open Letter to Her Ex-Husband’s Future Wife ]
I am sure he must be thinking I am mothering him with all my instructions day-in and day-out! My tantrums and fits must most definitely get on his nerves. Actually, I wonder what kept him calm this morning when I called him a “useless object!” Just because I am the woman of the house, it does not mean I rule the kingdom – I need to understand this. He has his own IQ and I cannot change or influence this in anyway. Why don’t I just let him be and let him do things his way? After all, I have chosen this man so why don’t I have faith in my own choice? All my cribbing and demeaning statements will just push him away from me. He is not a child neither am I his mother. I need to convey to him that I love and respect him for what he is. I really need to change my tone with him! [ Read: She Wrote a Letter to Her Life Partner on his Birthday to Surprise him ]
I have been receiving jokes of “smart woman and dumb husband” for donkeys years. But this is not the thumb rule of the world; it is just a marketing gimmick created by advertising agencies to sell their products. When I am out with my friends, they are always talking about how their husbands are just making life tougher at home. So am I influenced by my surroundings to treat my husband badly?
He loves me and wishes to be his own self with me because he sees us in a very different life. Despite of saying nasty things to him, treating him badly in public and telling him indirectly that he is an idiot; he still brings me flowers on a bright day, religiously helps me with household chores and shows me affection every minute of the day. Dear God! I need an emotional make-over! [ Read: Son Writes An Open Letter To His Parents ]
Lost in these thought and emotions, I came back to reality and caught the hours being close to lunch time. I immediately entered the kitchen and tossed some noodles. Next stop was the bedroom where I dressed up in his favourite colour. Before the winds turned, I was out of OUR house, headed to his office with a parcel of lunch for my husband in my hand. Taking a short de-route to the bakery to pick up those chocolate croissants he relishes, I reached my destination in time. My phone call to him was the first step towards the transformed wife in me. I said, “Hey honey! I’m sorry for being such a terrible wife. Come down so that I can tell you how much I love you!”